How do you torture a woman? […]
You can pry her body away from her mind, or you can pry her mind away from her body […] To pry her body away from her mind, you need to physically humiliate her {…} You can ridicule her body […], you can make her strap her breasts in. You can make her embarrassed about her periods, you can make her frightened of puberty, frightened of sex, frightened of ageing, frightened of eating. You can terrorize her with her own body, and then she will torture herself.
(The Second Coming of Joan of Arc, by Carolyn Gage)
Phew, that was a bit intense…
But the topic of body image and perceived flaws is an intense subject. Women see between 400 and 600 advertisements every single day. An average seventeen-year-old girl has seen over 250,000 ads. That is 40 to 50 million ads by the age of 60. (About Face, Facts on Media, compiled by Liz Dittrich, PhD, 2002.)
Why does this matter?
Well, this is a world where eating disorders have risen by 400% since 1970, and, according to an ongoing study funded by the National Heart, Lung and Blood Institute, 40% of nine and ten-year-old girls have tried to lose weight.
These are heartbreaking statistics.
More importantly, these statistics are our lives. These girls were us, are us, and are being raised by us. It is time we become more aware of the facts regarding our bodies. Instead of trying to eliminate “flaws”, our mindset regarding body image needs to be adjusted.
These “flaws” are normal aspects of the human body. Women are not the only sex to possess many of these features, yet, we are the ones that are constantly, relentlessly told that we are not worthy, beautiful, or adequate if we do.
This destroys our body image
The Media Lies to Us About Our Body Flaws
More critical than the sheer number of ads we are exposed to is the impact they have and their misrepresentation of reality.
Models are 23% lower weight than the average woman. They spend much of their time performing femininity; focusing on their appearance and undergoing treatments and procedures to alter their natural appearance.
These women in no way represent reality and often have bad body image themselves.
On top of this, the images we see of models and celebrities are altered further with photo manipulation.
Even “candid” photos on the red carpet are manipulated; smoothed, tucked, and slimmed. The end result is not even close to reality.
What is the impact of this? It is a society of girls and women who are constantly worried about how their bodies measure up.
In one study, 69% of girls reported that the pictures in magazines determined how they felt their bodies should look like.
When only 5% of women even possess anything resembling this body type, this leaves a huge gap of women unhappy and with a bad body image.
Anxiety over our body image, our own version of self-torture, is extremely lucrative.
The diet and weight loss industry alone makes $60 billion per year in America. Keeping us in constant anxiety over our body image pays off big time for corporate greed.
In more studies, it’s been shown that “nearly all women (85%) and girls (79%) opt out of important life activities – such as trying out for a team or club, and engaging with family or loved ones – when they don’t feel good about the way they look.
Additionally, 7 in 10 girls with low body-esteem (negative body image) say they won’t be assertive in their opinion or stick to their decision if they aren’t happy with the way they look, while 9 out of 10 (87%) women will stop themselves from eating or will otherwise put their health at risk.” (source)
All because we are trying to force our bodies to attain an ideal that doesn’t even exist in real life.
The “flaws” that the media covers up and manipulates away from our view are not flaws at all. They never have been.
When we live in a society where shaving commercials show women shaving an already bare leg because we are so afraid of what a real female body looks like, we have some serious mental health and body image issues brewing.
(See also: 7 TED Talks That Spark Confidence and Self Love to Radically Transform Your Life)
Body Image Flaw #1: Cellulite
One of the most detested yet prevalent of “body flaws” is cellulite.
Upwards of 90% of women have cellulite, yet it is treated as a huge problem that tabloids blast as an embarrassment and pseudo-science tell you is evidence of “toxicity”.
So, what exactly is cellulite?
It’s a secondary sex characteristic for females, just like breasts. It is something that develops during puberty and is not a feature only on overweight women but on mostly every female human being.
Cellulite is an $18 billion industry that preys on women’s insecurities about their body image.
This is very smart marketing because if 90% of women have cellulite, then targeting it as a “problem” that needs to be rid of creates a huge money-making niche. This is why you see so many articles, products, and websites devoted to it.
Procedures that promise to get rid of cellulite are temporary at best and at worst, can cause damage and infection.
Hopefully, armed with the facts, you can feel better and spend your money more wisely.
Body Flaw #2: Stretchmarks
Almost everyone has them.
This is a body “flaw” that affects both men and women.
When the skin is stretched by rapid growth, collagen becomes disrupted and fine lines appear, sometimes dark and purplish, and usually fading to a silvery colour over time.
Stretchmarks can result from:
– puberty (growing body parts, like breasts)
– weight gain
– pregnancy
– general growth
– steroid use (including corticosteroid creams)
– certain medical conditions including adrenal related illnesses
There is absolutely no known prevention or treatment of stretch marks.
That’s right, all of those creams and procedures have not been proven to be effective at all, and in some cases have been ruled unsafe and even dangerous such as tretinoin (a known cause of fetus malformations).
Even “natural” products that are supposedly used to prevent stretch marks can cause medical issues. Such is the case with centella asiatica (Gotu Kola).
There is a new trend to glamorize stretch marks as part of the body image positivity movement.
Saying they are “tiger stripes” or lightning bolts. Even going so far as to colour them in with paint or glitter.
The draw of this is obvious. To take a perceived body flaw and turn it into “art”.
However, as long as we are still concerned with our appearance so greatly, as long as we are consumed by our flaws and attempt to make them “pretty”, we are missing the point.
There are so many other things to fill our times with that worrying about completely normal body features. Putting glitter on them is still focusing on them.
We shouldn’t be so caught up and concerned with physical appearance and body image in the first place.
Just let them be what they are, signs of growth. Stretch marks — totally normal and as common as mud.
Body Image Flaw #3: Tummy Pooch (Mummy Tummy)
Hey, guess what?
Your abdomen is, among other things, a container for your organs.
Any photos you see of models and celebrities with perfectly flat tummies are guaranteed to be manipulated.
Cinched, flat waists are not normal and when those body images also show these women appearing to be free of their last few ribs, then they are deceptive.
It is very easy to manipulate your own body by angling and posing and sucking in as well. Every single Instagram Fit Girl or whatever they call themselves does this.
It’s so important for women to see real life represented in the media. The uprising of these “influencers” only causes women to feel like their very normal bodies and tummies are abnormal.
Fortunately, a rise of normal folks taking pictures that reveal how easy it is to deceive people on social media has been taking place. However, this isn’t enough.
Women young and old are saturated with “perfect” body images every day, and even if we can rationalize with ourselves that these photos are not reality and these women are not the norm, it still greatly affects how we see ourselves.
One out of 10 girls and women develops disordered eating behaviours.
(anorexia, bulimia, orthorexia, rumination, avoidant).
Long-term and very serious health consequences result from this, including death.
Cosmetic surgeries are also on the rise, even in populations of women with very normal, average bodies. These include breast implants, collagen injections, and liposuction, among others.
The United States had the highest total number of cosmetic procedures with 4,310,180.
In 2010, 29% of Americans surveyed said they would get a tummy tuck to improve body image if money was no issue, while 23% say liposuction.
Risks of these surgeries include bleeding, infection, a fluid collection (also known as a seroma), and contour irregularities and asymmetry.
For more examples of how easy it is to trick-shot your body on Instagram, and how any social media platform you view deserves a critical eye, see these posts:
10 of The Most Dramatic Instgram “Relaxed vs Posed” Snaps (Hello Giggles)
21 Staged Before and After Selfies That Prove Poses and Angles Are Everything (Pulptastic)
FOLLOW ME on IG
Body Image Flaw #4: "Saggy" Breasts
This is a sensitive one.
It is specific to women (although men can be self-conscious over the development of “breasts” — gynecomastia, of course) and this issue stems from female objectification and over-sexualization.
Like the quote in the opening paragraph of this post, making women feel that they are separate from their bodies, that their bodies are purely for the male gaze and to serve male pleasure, is a deeply harmful element of our culture.
Basically, women are made to feel like their lives begin at 18 and end at age 29.
Our culture is alarmingly pedophilic and glorifies youth in women while simultaneously demonizing aging.
As Carrie Fisher said in a famous quote “men don’t age better than women, they’re just allowed to age”.
As with the other body image “flaws”, photos of breasts are highly altered everywhere you look. We are separated from their natural purpose of nourishing our babies and made into something purely for third-party pleasure.
Anytime a part of our existence is outsourced for creating sales, for the pleasure of men, and to objectify us, we suffer.
As long as we keep playing to the male gaze by accommodating it and serving it, we will continue to be separated into categories of “worthy” and “unworthy”. These categories are determined by men and the society that strives to use our bodies to sell insecurities — because insecurity and body anxiety create sales.
Let’s stop pandering to it, and free ourselves from being a cog in this wheel.
(See also: Representation of Women in the Media and Why it Matters)
Body Image Flaw #5: Facial Hair
This one is for all the ladies who were never told just how normal facial hair is on women!
Not just the peach fuzz that everyone has, but obvious facial hair, and growth that is prickly on the chin or lip.
This type of facial hair growth is extremely common and is a result of fluctuating hormones or sometimes, the overabundance of androgens (typically considered male hormones).
Deep body image shame comes from facial hair growth for women. It is seen as a purely masculine biological trait, and so possessing it is viewed as anti-feminine.
Our society puts so much emphasis on performing femininity that not conforming to the standards of what is feminine and what is masculine invites ridicule and shame.
Removing this hair is part of the large amount of work that women must undergo in order to be “acceptably feminine”.
It is another way that our time and money is taken from bettering ourselves and our lives and placed on superficial appearance driven tasks.
In one study, it was revealed that women with facial hair spend 104 minutes a week managing it.
Over 65% of the women in the study said they obsessively check their facial hair in mirrors and 75% said they touch their faces constantly to check for hairs.
Furthermore, 40% said they felt that social situations made them feel uncomfortable, and clinical anxiety was a problem for 75% of them.
Even though they reported good quality of life, they gave low scores for relationships and social lives.
This is far too much mental weight and impact for something that so many women experience and should be considered perfectly normal.
Not Flaws at All
Real empowerment is defined as the process of becoming stronger and more confident, especially in controlling one’s life and claiming one’s rights.
None of the new “empowerment” touted by Instagrammers who are paid over $100,000 to post pictures that claim to be “empowered” are promoting anything other than insecurities and a severely altered perception of what real bodies are.
Idealized beauty has become so pervasive in our society that 50% of three- to six-year-old girls are concerned about their weight. How sad is that?
I believe it’s time for a dose of reality and time for a change. How about you?
Fuel your body with nourishing foods, exercise regularly, practice self-care, and leave these ridiculous expectations at the door.
(See also: Self Care: Practices to Reduce Stress, Accomplish Goals, and Benefit Mind & Body)
“Most of us women who survive our own best efforts at self-destruction are pretty miraculous, don’t you think?”
(The Second Coming of Joan of Arc, by Carolyn Gage)
Diastasis recti can cause low back pain, digestive disturbances, urinary and fecal incontinence, It’s a medical problem, not simply a Mummy Tummy that needs to be embraced. I suffered from low back pain and digestive disturbances for 12 years because of it. Thanks to having a tummy tuck with muscle repair almost 4 months ago, I’m no longer in pain.
Hi Karmyn! I actually wrote about diastasis recti in a separate article. This article is solely to help women feel less negative about their bodies and applies to any person with organs in their bodies, not just moms. I’m discussing the use of photoshop to make it seem like there are no organs and sometimes even removing the appearance of the lower ribs. “Mummy tummy” isn’t always DR and DR doesn’t always cause mummy tummy. It’s something that your PT or doctor needs to check for. There’s nothing wrong with getting muscle repair if that’s totally necessary but you can… Read more »
I tried healing diastasis recti with the various exercise programs for YEARS but it didn’t work for me—surgery did! My only regret was not getting it done sooner. What a waste of time and money doing those exercises..
I’m so glad you are finally healed and feeling better. What a relief that must be <3 It's a shame your care provider didn't recognize the severity of your condition and suggest surgery much sooner.
For the record (anyone else reading) DR exercises don't have to cost a bunch of money at all and can be very effective if the condition isn't serious. 🙂
Oh my gosh! There’s so much to say about every one of these “flaws” and your repose to them…LOVE IT ALL so much! Over the years I’ve been watching less T.V. and reading more books. What I’ve noticed about that is I’m not directed on how to feel about myself through images and commercials. I quite like it! I’m trying so hard to be intentional about what my daughter sees as she’s developing ideas about body image. Thank you so much for putting this post together. I fully agree with you that the need to cover or fix our “flaws”… Read more »
Your words mean so much to me, thank you for commenting. I’m very happy to hear that you’ve been able to notice a change when avoiding the sources. I also have done this and feel the same way. I always point this stuff out to my children as well, especially when talking to my sons about how women are portrayed. I’m so glad you feel the same way about covering them with glitter. It’s not getting to the real issue! Thank you so much for your support 🙂
I love this post and your perspective. For me, I actually don’t have cellulite or stretch marks. people dont believe it, but it’s true. I do have a mummy tummy though. … it’s there, and sucking in my gut takes too much effort. People need to realize that all bodies are different, and not to take social media so seriously.
Absolutely agree <3
Honestly, I’ve never understood why everyone thinks these “flaws” are so bad. It’s just all a part of being a human… a FEMALE human. I get so irritated at the health and beauty industry and the weight loss industry. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to look good as long as it’s for YOU, not for ANYONE ELSE. Grrrrrr.
I have stretch marks. I carried two little boys inside me. I’m proud of them. I don’t feel the need to flaunt them, but they’re a part of me now.
I’m so glad you agree! You’re right, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to look good, but it’s for what reasons and how it affects your mental health. Women are often seen as objects, not humans, I think that’s why there’s so much dichotomy between how we feel and how we are portrayed. Hopefully we see a change 🙂
Wow! Thank you so much for sharing. I think we all lose sight of what is real and what isn’t and what is normal and what is unrealistic. I know I have suffered from negative self image in the past and still don’t love every part of my body today but when I look at my little cousins and my baby sister I think they are perfect and beautiful and want them to feel so comfortable in their own skin!
It’s a huge struggle towards self-acceptance. I’m not all the way there, that’s for sure. I’m so happy to see this movement growing though, for our cousins, sister, children and ourselves! Thank you so much for stopping by!
I could not love this post more!!! Thank you for bringing all of this to light! I find the thing that helps me most is to be grateful for my glorious body that creates and bears children, that works hard to create beauty in my surroundings, that learns and things and teaches and runs and plays. What a gift!
That’s an excellent mindset! Thank you so much for your kind words and for commenting!
Stretch marks actually don’t bother me much. I’ve definitely embraced them more than I would have if I was the younger version of myself
That’s fantastic!
OH MY GOODNESS! Thank you for including the before/after photoshopped image at the top — it’s insane that we think that’s the normal state of the body! Every single young woman in the world needs to read this post and understand that we are being lied to!
Thank you so much, I agree. I have daughters and I desperately want a different world for them. I do not agree with picking on celebrities and that’s never my intention, so I’m glad you were happy to see the before and after. I think it is extremely important for the REAL images to circulate. Thank you for commenting!
It is interesting to hear the science behind our bodies. My daughter is about to enter her teen years and this would be helpful information!
Definitely, I think teen girls are targeted the most. It’s just awful.
It is so sad how much young girls and women think that what they see in magazines is normal. This is a fabulous article! Thank yu so much for sharing! I did not know about many of the statistics you provided!
You’re very welcome. I was shocked as well while I was researching. It was so sad. I even found a post where a mom shared her 9 year old daughter’s note that had instructions for a “diyet” which included “17 pooshups 2x a day”. I bawled my eyes out. I can’t even imagine my daughters feeling this way. Thank you so much for reading and commenting!
Wow thank you for this article. The stats are just so astounding. I was just looking at my mummy tummy and how it’s got to go and just finished shaving my facial hair, then l read this article. Thank you for highlighting the normalcy of it all.
I really hope this helped you feel better! I’m glad you read it. The stats are so sad and difficult to come to terms with. Thank you for reading and commenting!
I’m trying to embrace things I dont love about my body and appreciate clothing companies that show real women!
I’m so glad to hear that! It’s no easy task <3
This is truly an amazing article! The “standards” of beauty have gotten out of control! Body positivity is a wonderful message, (and one that nearly every living girl needs to see). Thanks for sharing 🙂
Thank you so much, I really appreciate your kind words and solidarity! You’re right, it is out of control. A lot of what is branded as “empowering feminism” nowadays is absolutely the opposite and that is really scary. Thank you for commenting!
This is powerful!! Thank you for writing this!!
Thank you! And thank you as well for reading 🙂
Wonderful post. It’s true that women are often seeing flaws in themselves when it’s actually really normal. It’s easy to feel like you’re the “odd” one though. And it’s happening to boys too, just in different ways.
-Lauren
It absolutely happens to boys too. I find with boys, the media’s portrayal of a perfect appearance is an IDEAL while with girls, it’s the EXPECTATION. And that’s where it gets really harmful. While I was doing my research, I found several statistics that all showed girls from a very young age and upwards are concerned with their weight and appearance. This is across several countries as well. The same wasn’t true for boys in nearly the same numbers (although it was still prevalent). Pretty telling.
There are so many different “flaws” that people focus on, instead of focusing on being healthy. I am guilty of it too, but health is what matters – not stretch marks or saggy breasts.
We are all probably guilty of it. I’m not free of it at all either. I struggle big time but I am getting so much better after reading and researching it. There’s so much more to life.